1096 Days.

1096 days ago, at this time, I was in a car. A little red '95 neon that was somehow still on the road. (For those who are unaware, neons are commonly referred to as "disposable." They're not made to last.)

I was in said car with my wonderful husband. We'd been married for a whole three and a half hours. We were driving to Chicago to catch a plane to Mexico. Our marriage was still, in most ways, made up of dreams and expectations.

1096 days ago, we had no idea that within two years we'd see ourselves with five children in heaven. 1096 days ago, we had no idea that we'd only get to celebrate one anniversary with my grandmother, before she went on to heaven.

1096 days ago, we believed that we'd build our life together. We pictured ourselves restoring a home in which to raise the children we'd simply "believe and try for" and then have. We had no comprehension of the financial, emotional, spiritual and physical obstacles we'd face.

1096 days ago, we kissed for the first time. 1096 days ago, we were eagerly anticipating our "first time together." 1096 days ago, we had the worst sex we've ever had. That sounds awful, but it was. Ask any couple who were virgins when they married - that first time is a doozy.

1096 days ago, we were in love.

731 days ago, we celebrated our first anniversary. We rejoiced that we'd "made it" this far. We were mourning the still fresh loss of our child, and plunging ahead with fertility treatments. 731 days ago, we talked about maybe looking for a house to buy.

731 days ago, we were in love.

366 days ago, we celebrated our first anniversary "without her." We rejoiced in two years of marriage. We'd had 730 days together. We took a big vacation. We saw things too beautiful for words. We stood together dangerously close to a wild grizzly bear. We watched a coyote catch and reject as food some sort of small animal. We made a crazy dash back across the country for the funeral of a friend.

366 days ago, we were in love.

1 day ago, we celebrated our third anniversary over two hostess cupcakes. We rejoiced in three years of marriage. I marveled at how quickly time has gone. I felt a little sad that we've not had any "earth babies" yet. We went to church.

1 day ago, we were in love.

Today, we start our fourth year of marriage. I am still being amazed by the depths of God's love for me. I am almost as amazed by the depths of Derek's love. I am thankful for his patience, dependent on his patience. We're walking together on a journey I thought I'd never have to take. I tried when I was younger, and failed. But now, I've got someone by my side who gives me the courage and strength to do this. I am blessed to have the best husband on the planet. Sorry ladies, I know you think your man is great, but as far as I'm concerned - I got the best one, by far. :)

Today, we are in love.