NICIAW - ADHD, Depression, Anxiety

Chantel writes:

My name is Chantel and I was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) in 2000 when I was 9 years old. I showed signs of having it at a much earlier age but it is sometimes hard to differentiate between normal childhood inattentiveness and hyperactivity versus true ADHD. I also struggle with depression and anxiety as these play hand-in-hand at times with the ADHD.

It had always been hard for me to follow even the simplest of instructions; not because I wasn’t smart or didn’t know how but because my brain couldn’t slow down enough to even hear the whole set of instructions. I would only get bits and pieces of information at a time because my attention would wander off and on, thus getting me into trouble. I could NOT pay attention if my life depended on it. While all the other kids were outside at recess I was inside doing homework or sitting in time out because I also was always getting into trouble. I would blurt out answers or talk when I wasn’t supposed to. It made the other kids not like me. I was different. I got made fun of a lot. I didn’t like being the weird and annoying kid. I tried so hard to pay attention but my mind just wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t help it. Simple basic math homework of 15 question multiplication problems proved to take me hours and I would stay up bawling all night long because I thought I had to be the stupidest kid in the world. I had no self-worth or friends to speak of and the teachers were terrible to me. That all changed!

I got on medicine when I was 9 and it made such a difference! My C’s and D’s turned into almost all A’s and occasional B’s. Of course it took a lot of different medication changes to find my niche but I am so thankful! I also used behavioral therapy to help train my impulsiveness due to the ADHD.

I still have problems with ADHD in adult life though as it will be a life long struggle I am afraid. My grades did improve and I found out how smart I really was and that I was NOT stupid, but still I struggle with the social aspect of it now. I still am perceived as the “weird” one and frankly I don’t have too many friends and I think that is one of the worst parts of this: loneliness and rejection.

It really bothers me when people tell me to just “stop acting like that” and that I use it as a crutch because I do NOT. I don’t like having this. If I had to choose between a visible or invisible illness I would choose visible because at least I would be believed and get the support and validation that I need to keep going through the day when I become discouraged. Support makes such a difference. I read my Bible when I become discouraged. Philippians 4:13 is one of my favorite verses (among many) that helps me in life.

I chose to be involved in Invisible Illness Week because I wish to bring awareness to these types of illnesses. Just because a person has no physical indication that they are ill does not mean that they aren’t. I hope that the stigma associated with mental health illnesses and other illnesses that cannot be seen with the eyes one day lifts and is recognized and validated. I want it to be that we will no longer be seen as the “weird” or “crazy” ones because our illnesses cannot be seen; we will be seen for what we are: human beings deserving of support and understanding. Blessings to all of you

NICIAW - Adult ADHD

This is from DJ.

1. The illness I live with is: Adult ADHD

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 1986

3. But I had symptoms since: 1981

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: having to take medications.  I have to consciously monitor what I am saying and how I am interacting, to avoid being obnoxious.

5. Most people assume: I'm just obnoxious, but I have no "real problems."

6. The hardest part about mornings are: waking up, of course.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy; House

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my Smartphone

9. The hardest part about nights are: winding down so I can fall asleep

10. Each day I take wellbutrin and ativan for anxiety, & occasionally vitamins. (No comments, please)

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: sought God and won, for a while.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: visible, because then people would understand and know what I struggle with.  They wouldn't assume everything is fine, or that I just need to suck it up and deal with it.

13. Regarding working and career:  I have to be careful how I interact with coworkers so I am not overbearing or obnoxious in opinions and decision making.  Sometimes the ADHD causes me to "zone out" and I will spend several minutes staring at my screen, doing nothing.

14. People would be surprised to know: I'm a superhero at night.  No, really, I am.  Okay.  They would really be surprised to know that I am actually a very gentle, trustworthy man.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: knowing that something I thought was gone for the rest of my life has come back

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: give up medication.

17. The commercials about my illness: are actually pretty honest.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: watching TV without it becoming all-consuming, and having conversations without a driving need to control what's being said.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: caffeine

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:  computer programming.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: finish at least one of the programs I have started.

22. My illness has taught me: patience.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "It was meant to be."

24. But I love it when people: recognize accomplishments for what they are.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: that they can still do everything they enjoy, and that they can still succeed and do very well at whatever they want

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: The amount of support I get from my wife.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: a guidance counselor allowed me to drop a class when I was in high school, when the teacher was not going to allow it.