Questions

I have questions. My doctor will answer some... like should I be worried about the dizziness? Is there something I can do to lessen or eliminate it? What about the balance and clumsiness issue? The nausea? Maybe I've just got a bug, I don't know.
The questions that really matter... they can't be answered by my doctor. I want to know about heaven. I want to know what the people there see and/or know about those of us here. I want to know if it's okay to talk to God and ask Him to let them know things - and also, if it IS okay to ask, what about Him doing it... will He? Does He? How's it work?
If my focus is on God... and I believe it is... how come I miss her so much? How come I can't bring myself to talk to anybody about it? There's so few people I'd even consider... My Pastor, but I don't know about that - seems like it's not something I should take his time up with... or Pastor Quam, maybe... Edie, for sure... Shawn... maybe Lynn, but just a little. Jeanne, perhaps, a little - she has a light-hearted exterior, but she loves God and she loves people... I just don't know. There's plenty of people who would be willing beyond the ones I mentioned, but I just can't see doing it. And I don't know what I'd say anyway... In some ways, I want to move on and not miss her so much, not cry so much. In so many other ways, I'm not ready to do that. And even if I was - there's so many reminders, I don't think it would happen anyway.
Found a good song today - I like the words a lot. And it's good to listen to. Here's the words:

Bring The Rain
~MercyMe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty