I'm Alive.

It wasn't all that long ago that I wondered how long that would be true. The alive part, that is. I remember the surgeon coming, telling me that the VRE infection I had developed in January was still rampant. It grew both in my wound and blood cultures. For those of you unfamiliar with the abreviation, the VR portion stands for vancomyacin resistant. That means that they literally don't have anything left to treat it with. They were pumping me full of three kinds of antibiotics, plus the antihistamines and steroids required when giving me levaquin (I am allergic). Those would take care of some of the bacteria - the other kinds. But the VRE? The doctor said it was up to my own body.

God was merciful. I initially caught the infection along with four other kinds of bacteria. Most likely from someone who didn't wash his or her hands adequately before applying gloves and doing a dressing change while I was hospitalized. They told me then that there was nothing they could do about the infection. We all thought it had abated, until nearly three months later when my shin literally started rotting off.

God was merciful. In spite of the fact that the original wound was self inflicted, and in spite of the fact that I was falling apart in so very many ways, He saved my leg. And He saved my life.

I was thinking about this tonight in church, and Psalm 143 came to mind. I've got it below for you to read. It just seems... fitting.

O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant (me) into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before You.
The enemey pursues me, he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah. (Which means meditate on this.)
Answer me quickly, O Lord;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hid myself in You.
Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;
may your Spirit lead me on level ground.
For your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.