Tomorrow, I have an appointment early in the morning with my surgeon. His current plan is to use lidocaine as a local anesthetic, and carve out the dead tissue while I am wide awake. In an awkward position on a hard table in a "procedure room."
I have issues with this. First, lidocaine has never been overly effective with me. I should know, having had nearly 1,000 stitches in my life. Second, and most importantly, the act of removing my flesh, while I am awake, is guaranteed to set off flashbacks. Not puny little ones, either. Big ones. Ones that all but consume me.
I have a plan, to attempt to get at the very least a twilight anesthesia administered. So if you wouldn't mind, please pray that I'm able to accomplish that without issue.
I am a Christian. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I have babies in heaven. I take pictures. Love to write. I strive to show compassion.
Derek is also a Christian. He is a husband - to me. An amazing husband. He loves intensely. Laughs freely. He is strong. I am amazed when I consider that he chose ME. I love him. He loves me.
This is my Gramma. Eileen. Of everyone I have ever known, she is the one I desire to be like. She was wildly compassionate. Generous. A woman of integrity. Goofy. Cute. My hero. She is in Heaven.
Bayleigh is intense. She is small. She is beautiful. Sweet. Wild. Mischevious without limits. And she chirps.
Furbis is the epitome of catness. He is handsome. Big. Sweet. Dangerously intelligent. Strong. He breaks things. And talks.
Calliah is special. Furbis chose her. She is sweet. Not very smart. Funny. Pretty. Puts her toys in water. And the more she loves you, the harder she bites.
Izzy is super sweet. She's pretty. Passionate about playing. She licks things. She doesn't talk much. Snuggles a lot. And sleeps on my head.
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