Thursday, April 22, 2010


Tomorrow, I have an appointment early in the morning with my surgeon. His current plan is to use lidocaine as a local anesthetic, and carve out the dead tissue while I am wide awake. In an awkward position on a hard table in a "procedure room."

I have issues with this. First, lidocaine has never been overly effective with me. I should know, having had nearly 1,000 stitches in my life. Second, and most importantly, the act of removing my flesh, while I am awake, is guaranteed to set off flashbacks. Not puny little ones, either. Big ones. Ones that all but consume me.

I have a plan, to attempt to get at the very least a twilight anesthesia administered. So if you wouldn't mind, please pray that I'm able to accomplish that without issue.

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