Wednesday, March 17, 2010


It's amazing. I can remember posting apologies for having missed several days of posts. Or even several weeks. This.... this is new.

I haven't been home for more than a few days at a time since my birthday. To say "I've been through the wringer" would be one of the most massive understatements I could make.

I am still wrestling, really wrestling, with what I should share here and what should be kept private. Actually, truth be told, I'm really wrestling with just about everything.

I think for now, I will put forth this "public" explanation, and perhaps revisit some things later.

When I was young - quite young - some things happened that shouldn't have. Those same things continued to happen for a number of years.

I was afraid for my life, and I told nobody. Not a single, solitary soul.

As I grew up, I continued to pretend to be fine. Had nightmares at night, weird things happened during the day sometimes, but for the most part, people bought it.

About two years ago, I started showing some tiny indicators that something was wrong. It didn't take long for those indicators to grow into gigantic, unavoidable symptoms. The doctors have called it severe PTSD with major depression.

I call it a nightmare.

I'd like to apologize to all of you who come here for hope, or to read the posts I do about pieces of scripture. I'm working on coming back to that but for now... just for now... I may not be able to do much more than pop in every now and then and say I'm still around.

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