Saturday, January 24, 2009

All That I Can Say Right Now...

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were just... overwhelmed? When it took every ounce of faith you had not to worry yourself sick - literally? I have. In a lot of ways, I'm in that spot right now. Along with my husband.
Yesterday, especially, was like that. But God is so faithful... it started out like this:
I didn't sleep on Wednesday night, and on Thursday morning, God prepared this for me. Okay... so maybe it was "just" another sun rise. But to me... it was more. It was so peaceful. So beautiful. I walked around the hill behind our house, wearing pajamas and old tennis shoes. And was so wrapped up in the beauty that I didn't even feel the cold. What a great way to start the morning.

Later in the day, he reminded me to look at the little things around me - the little things that contain beauty, even though on the outside, they seem cold. Difficult. Painful.

I knelt in the snow and looked up... and beheld this.

But when I shifted my focus a bit... the sky came into view. It almost looks like coral. Something you'd find diving on a reef. Not kneeling in the snow in the northern part of the US.

And so, I will leave with just a short note:
I'm not posting a lot just now. Not because there's nothing to say... but because I have no words. There are trials the world can see, and then there are the battles we're fighting privately. The ones I can't talk about here. The ones that can be so painful it's hard to breathe. And right now, I can not see the answer. I don't know how things can turn out okay. If I let myself think about it, it's too much. But I know this... my God, He IS God. A faithful God. Who keeps His covenant, unto a thousand generations.

And I know that somewhere, is a job for me. And a job for Derek. And somehow, the house will fall into place. Financing will happen. We won't lose it. This has been a project to glorify God, and that's going to happen. Somehow.

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