Top Secret Information

**If you have requested an invite to my fertility blog and have not received it, please check your junk-mail or request another invite.  I have over 30 open invitations right now, so I know not everyone has gotten theirs.**

First, if you want to read my fertility blog, you will have to either email me or leave a comment as it is now protected.  It will stay this way for at least the next few weeks, as we go through retrieval, fertilization, and get "the news."  It's not that I want to hide from the world... it's just that I want to have a way to update people, but not have the added stress of nay-sayers.

Now, on to the Top Secret Information I have for you. 

Truth is, I have been holding out on you guys big time.  There was a big thing that happened back in September, a thing that we didn't want anybody to hear about second-hand.  We also didn't want to tell certain people until we had a resolution to said thing.

Derek was working, and he made a statement to a customer that seemed perfectly acceptable at the time - both to Derek and to the customer.  However, the manager monitoring the call felt that Derek was trying to avoid helping the customer and chose to terminate his employment.  We were truthfully terrified.  Especially me.  He was more ashamed than afraid, I think.

But over the days and weeks following, I was prouder of him than I've maybe ever been.  Like me, he's still imperfect.  Because he's still human and trapped on earth.  In the past, I've ached for him to step up and be the leader I believe God has called him to be.  For him to be decisive, firm.  To lead our family.  And it hasn't always happened (don't get me wrong - there have also been times I've chosen not to follow or submit, which is in my opinion probably more dangerous).  But this time, he didn't back down. 

He told me what we were going to do.  He stuck to his word.  He worked so hard to get a new job - and had one 3 days after he was informed that he was fired.  Not a great job - not the best fit for him, poor wages and no benefits.  But better than starving, right?  He worked at that job diligently, all the while searching for an alternative (I helped, but the spotlight here is on Derek).  He's applied at so many locations, but as many of you know, the job market just isn't the best right now.  There was one job he was promised that never came to fruition.  He was so disappointed when the date he should have started came and went.  He wanted to work for that company - still does.

Then, last week, he got a phone call informing him of a different, unexpected opening at that company.  It pays $3.60 more per hour than the job he originally wanted, and is in the IT field (something Derek really wanted to break into).  His position right now is officially temporary, but will hopefully be made permanent in January.  Meanwhile, at the other job he was working, he asked if he could go part time.  They were disappointed - they were planning on promoting him very shortly after he completed training.  They said yes though.  So he is staying there part time, with the knowledge that if he were to return to full time, the promotion is waiting for him. 

Can I just say, I am proud of him?  I think he's acted very honorably and very much the "man" in all of this.  Thank you Derek, for leading our family, for loving me, and most of all, for loving God.

Lest We Forget...

You might remember this post - the one where I told you about reading every name on the walls at the memorial near my home.

I asked you then - and I'm asking you now - read those names.  Find a place and read the names.  And remember.

Remember that our opinion of war is irrelevant, that what we believe about our president or the choices he has made don't really come into play when it comes to remembering.  Remembering what these people have done for us.  For me.  For you.  For this nation.

They have stood alone in the dark, facing those things that invoke nothing less than stark terror.  They have had to live with the blood of innocent people on their hands, on their hearts.  They have walked where few dare to imagine.

They have been strong.  Courageous.  They have been loyal.  They have been the epitome of what America is supposed to be. 

I cannot speak for those who have lost the ones they love the most.  It hasn't happened to me.  But I can remember them.  I can try to imagine their sadness, their devastation.

I cannot speak for those who wait each night for that letter, that note... the one that says "I am okay.  I love you."  I've never had to do that.  But I can remember them.  I can think about them when I'm awake in the early hours of the morning.

I cannot speak for those who have come home.  Those who remember faces that will never be seen again.  I don't know how it feels to be a soldier carrying a lifeless child.  I've never seen a battle.  But I have seen death, I have seen the loss of innocent life... I have even felt responsible.  So I can remember them.  When I am feeling guilty, or there is a face I can't get out of my head... I can remember them.

I cannot speak for those who have gone on.  I wish I could say with certainty that every one of them is in heaven now - a "better place."  I don't know that.  But I do know this... their sacrifice was ultimate.  There is nothing more they could have given.  We can give ourselves, but there is nothing more we can give.  I don't know what that is, not really.  But when I feel like I am just tired, like I don't want to give anymore... I can remember them.

Will you remember with me?  The old men in the coffee shop, wearing the VFW jackets... the homeless man standing on the street corner wearing the tatters of old fatigues or a uniform... the young man behind the counter at the bank... the police officer who seems just a little more alert than most... teachers, pastors, factory workers... people just like us.  Just like us.

Except today isn't about us.  It is about them.  I can remember.

Can you?

**Please note: photographs are exclusive property of Potter's Clay Studios and may not be used or reproduced without express written permission.**

RAW(e) Entry

This weeks theme is Little.  I have a million pictures of a special little someone, but unedited, and sort of randomly chosen, here is my entry for the week:

Kitten Update

I could go on and on about the kittens - how they are, how they've grown, how much healthier they are.  I think though, that I'll let pictures speak on my behalf.  The shots aren't great, I know, but... they'll show you the progress.  

"Yoku"
Kiryoku - Inner Strength
Day 3 - Age 16 Days



Yoku
Day 13 - Age 26 Days







"Tabi"
Tabibito - Voyager
Day 3 - Age 16 Days



Tabi
Day 13 - Age 26 Days



"Kohta"
Kohtamashii - Fire Spirit
Day 3 - Age 16 Days





Kohta
Day 13 - Age 26 Days



"Nari"
Kaminari - Thunder
Day 3 - Age 16 Days



Nari

Day 13 - Age 26 Days