Thursday, May 10, 2007

Mother's Day

48 hours from now, I'll be getting ready to turn in for the night. And then, when I wake up, it will be Mother's Day. An interesting day for me. I have a mother. She, like every other person on this planet, is imperfect. Flawed. Broken. But she is my mother. And she gave me life. Not only that - she's done so much to make my life better. She doesn't see it, and doesn't believe it. But I am glad she is my mother. I wouldn't trade her for anything. Few people can love with the intensity she does.
In spite of this... I will be spending a large portion of Mother's Day alone, at least physically. I will go to church... I need that. I know I do. As soon as that first service is over, I will walk into the parking lot and get into my car. If I am crying, I will gain composure. I will find a greenhouse, and buy a flower. Then I will drive to the little cemetary in the country. I'll park my vehicle. I'll walk down a gravel path, cross over dirt and grass. Sit beside an unmarked grave. The resting place of the greatest woman I've ever known. Well... not HER resting place. Her body's resting place. There, I will plant the flower. I've given her a plant every year of my life. And I can't give her anything now. But by doing this, I feel like maybe it's a way to remember, a way to honor her. I don't know how long I will stay. Maybe it will be for five minutes. Or maybe five hours. Maybe more. I really don't know.

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