Tuesday, April 17, 2007


On Sunday, we learned about help at church. What about it? We learned that if you need it, you need to ask for it. Ask, and then ask, and ask, and ask until you get it. Perhaps my God had me in mind when He had my Pastor teach on this...

The thing is, I don't know if I actually do need help. In many ways, I really am okay. I'm not depressed, I'm not having any issues with suicide or anything else like that. And while yes, I do wish that I had someone to talk to, someone who would just listen... someone who is a woman, a woman older than me, someone who is Godly and of an upright character... someone trust-worthy, Spirit-filled, gentle (but firm when needed)... someone like the ladies I listed previously... I don't know what I'd say. What does a person say in a situation like that?? "Um... I'm sad." ??? I am sad. But I don't think that's bad. I don't think that it's bad to miss her. The part that I think isn't quite as it should be is how much I cry. And how, no matter what the day holds, I think of her no less than every 15 minutes or so.
I act like I'm doing okay, maybe even like I'm doing great. I say I'm doing well. I try to tell myself that too. And I don't actually know if I am okay... although that really makes no sense, does it?

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