Psalm 13

This one is a bit... heavier... than I normally would post here. I'm not going to avoid it or sidestep it, but I am going to take another day to really consider it, to ponder it. To pray over what to say here. Tonight, I am not really in a position to comment on any scripture. So I'll post it in a couple of versions. If you have any thoughts you would like to share on the passage, please do. You can leave a comment (hidden until I approve them) or use the link over on the right. If I don't receive anything before I post, it will be all me. If I do receive something (or many somethings), I'll include them in the post.

Without further words on my part, here is Psalm 13.

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Not Me Monday

In light of the new "Not Me Monday" banner, I am writing a new "Not Me Monday" introduction for my blog.

I'm distinctly lacking in inspiration tonight, though, so you'll have to wait until next Monday to read it. Which leads me into the "meat" of this post.

I would never simply direct my readers to head over to MckMama's blog for an explanation of what "Not Me Monday" is really about, instead of telling you myself.

I would also never create a ridiculously detailed binder of processes for a job - and then, five years later, pass that binder on to someone who is now training for that job. Because I'm not a list maker or note taker. Seriously. I'm not. And because of that, I wouldn't make that binder. But if I did, I'm sure my pack-rat habits would dictate that the binder still be present in my home.

I did not hire a photographer for my best friend's wedding because I found her through MckMama's blog. But if I did, it wouldn't be just based on that - it would also be because I met her six years ago. At a park in a nearby city. And I saw her a few times after that. So I do technically sort of know her from real life. But since I would never hire a photographer because I found her on a complete stranger's blog, it doesn't really matter, does it? If you are curious about this mystery photographer that I did not hire, you can check her out over at Sailor and Company. Sami, if you read this... see you in October. :)

I did not ride 17.63 miles yesterday on a bike with a seat designed for... well, for something other than riding 17.63 miles. And today, I am not finding it difficult to sit in any of the traditional "sitting positions" because of it. And if that were so, that discomfort is surely something too personal to share in such a public forum. Right?

I am not sleepy. And I am not going to bed having only written a pathetically short Emotions from the Psalms post and an almost as pathetic "Not Me Monday" post. Because I have nothing better to do at night than blog. Or something.

Oh... and when I ran spell check on this post, I did not contemplate gloating about the fact that it only found one error. Because I'm not that shallow. I only post about important and significant achievements. Not silly things like proper spelling.

Psalm 12

Tonight, I am in Psalm 12. I don't know why, but I'm struggling to pull emotion from it. Perhaps it's exhaustion, perhaps it's simply the power of distraction. Either way, rather than skip posting all together as I have the last couple days, I'll share the two verses that did something to me.

Verse 5:
"Because of the oppression of the weak
and the groaning of the needy,
I will now arise," says the LORD.
"I will protect them from those who malign them."

I thought this was interesting. There's nothing here about eloquent prayers or selfless giving. There's no indication that the weak and needy did anything at all to "earn" God's favor. A mere expression of emotion - not even words, but just a groan - moved God to action. In the past, I've always tried to keep emotion out of my prayers. Wanting to be a "good Christian" and wanting to be "above" letting emotions have any say in my life. Here, a part of God's character is revealed. A part where He is moved by emotions. A part where people express those emotions, when words fail.

His response to the groans? "I will arise. I will protect them from those who malign them." Powerful words, when you consider the Source.

Verse 6:
And the words of the LORD are flawless,
like silver refined in a furnace of clay,
purified seven times.

This says what I would like to say. God's Words are flawless. He cannot and does not lie. Ever. He doesn't change. Doesn't waver. So His response here? It's the same response He would have today, for me, if my emotions were overwhelming. If my needs were so great that all I could do was groan, He'd respond.

Pretty amazing, if you ask me.

Psalm 8

No expounding tonight. No words of my own. I'm taking a small step back and I'm just going to let king David speak for me.

O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.
From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.
You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:
all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.
O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth

Remember this?

I learned something with this recent wedding.... NEVER edit tired. It goes poorly. It gets frustrating, vision fails, brainwaves cease, and it is general just... well, it yields pictures like this:


But if you take that SAME image, and try it when you're not so tired, and further away from sleep, you might like the results a bit better...



I'm still kicking myself for accidentally deleting the copy of this shot that was properly exposed (that's what happens when you let yourself delete shots while waiting for the wedding to start). But at least it was somewhat salvagable...

Say What Wednesday

We all do it. I think. Regardless, I know that many of us sometimes let words come out of our mouths that just make us go "Huh?" Or sometimes, words that make everybody around us crack up.

So, without further introduction, here is my "Say What?! Wednesday" post. And yes, I know it's Thursday today. But I am going to post this with a publish date of Wednesday. Because that makes me look like I remembered to do this yesterday. Or something...

So today, I was talking with a couple coworkers. I told one of them, "Derek told me to ask you to sing the song about the mouse in a bar." I have no idea what this song is, but I've been told it's funny. So I wanted to hear it. She looked at me kind of wierd. I continued on, "Derek tells me to do things a lot because he thinks they'll be fun." And then one of my coworkers snorted. She snorted because she was holding in laughter. Because according to her, it was a sort of... off-sounding statement.

I began a message that I left for a customer today with the following words... "Thank you for calling _____, the best value in wireless. My name is Jennifer..." I froze. I had called them, not the other way around. I continued on, though, trying to cover my error. "Hehe. That is what I'd say if you had called me. But I called you. To find out if you need any further assistance with your account." And waited for the option to review or delete my message. It never came. They'll get my special message tonight. And I bet they don't want my help with anything else.

I know that these are weak examples, but seeing as how it's a day late anyway, I'm allowed.

My last one is a joke. Told by our trainer at work. Who is infamous for... less-than-humerous jokes that get everybody laughing because of how funny he thinks they are.

I had just entered some information backwards into a search tool, and told him so. He laughed. And shouted, with Superman-esque enthusiasm, "Dyslexics of the world... UNTIE!" He is dyslexic. So it's okay for him to say that. And yes, I do mean UNTIE. Not unite.

Please, bail me out here folks... what did yousay or hear this week that made you go, "Say what?!"

Psalm 6

Tonight, I am back to the sixth Psalm. As I mentioned before, I have been given an assignment of sorts. An assignment to focus on the relationship David has with His God. More specifically, to focus on his emotions and how they play into that relationship. I'm trusting the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the character and nature of God, and to help me as I relate to Him.

I've actually been in the sixth Psalm since Saturday. I've labored over whether to post it or not. My conclusion? Share some things, in hopes that it will help or bless those who read. Because really, I don't have anything to prove. That's not the point of this assignment - right or wrong. The point is to grow. To learn. To develop.

My words aren't annointed or inspired. They are simply... me. And as my Pastor has shared, life is life for everyone. And since that is true, I want to share a bit of mine.

Verse 1: O Lord, rebuke me not in Your anger nor discipline and chasten me in Your hot displeasure.

I'm struggling to relate to this emotion. You see, I'm blessed in the realm of discipline, chastening, and rebuking. Not blessed as in able to do them all very well. But blessed in that I've learned that these things, when done according to their actual purpose, are done out of love. I sort of "got it" after being on the receiving end several times. But I really got that when I had the awesome privelage of being a nanny for an amazing little boy. As he grew, so did the love I had for him. When he got old enough to start making rational choices, I found myself rebuking him. Correcting. Chastening. And you know what? I did it purely out of love. Because I loved him too much to let him continue on in error.

Even so, I can relate, a little, to the emotion that David may have felt here. Because, love or not, being rebuked is never fun at the time. And there is still that tiny, almost non-existant pretty big part of me that doesn't want anybody to know about any of my faults. And for rebuking, chastening, or correcting... my faults need to be known.

Verses 2 and 3: Have mercy on me and be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am weak (faint and withered away); O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled. My [inner] self [as well as my body] is also exceedingly disturbed and troubled. But You, O Lord, how long [until You return and speak peace to me]?

These two verses? I get these. I've been weak. So weak that I despaired for my life. Emotionally empty and drained. And when that happened, my body suffered for it. It was truly as if my very bones were troubled. This emotion... dispair, desperation, fear, and just a tiny sliver of hope... a tiny sliver that says maybe it could be better. A tiny sliver that gives us the courage to cry out to God.

Verse 4: Return [to my relief], O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of Your steadfast love and mercy.

I've prayed for this. I've prayed that God would come in, and change my heart. That He would change my life. Deliver me. Not because I deserve it - truth be told, none of us do. I don't know all the sins of anybody - except for me. I know what I do. I know what I say, what I think. I know my intentions and secret thoughts. And in light of those, I am desperately dependent on God's steadfast love and mercy. Without it, I am entirely without hope. And with it? Well... you get the idea.

I'm going to skip over verse 5, since I have nothing to say about it. But you can read it - in any Bible.

For tonight, I'm ending with verses 6 and 7.

I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears, I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye grows dim because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies.

Have you ever been in there? Has the light of dawn ever illuminated your pillow, revealing the wetness of countless tears? Have you ever spent an entire night so distraught that you were unable to sleep at all?

I have. This is what David is talking about. True sorrow. True grief. Heartbreak. I've been there. I suspect, if you've been living life very long at all, you have too. The thing I am taking from this passage tonight, and applying to my own life, is this:

I do not have to hide my sorrow, my tears, my pain, from God. I can pour them out to Him. It's appropriate. Acceptable. And when I am overwhelmed? When my vision truly grows dim with sorrow? Call out to Him. Here, David is our example.

What have you learned from this passage? Does it strike a chord somewhere in you? It may be (in fact, it probably is) that you get something so very different from what I got. I'd love to hear. Leave a comment on this post, or you can use the link on the right hand side of the page. All comments on this blog are moderated, so if you'd prefer to keep the comment just between us, just say so and I will respect that.

Good night, and God bless.

Not Me. Not Today.

The past week was long, busy, and not the easiest of weeks. In light of that, I will not be doing a "Not Me Monday" post today. You can head over to MckMama's blog to check out other people's "Not Me's."

As for me, I am going to bed.

Tomorrow, you can expect another "emotion from Psalms" post. I've been keeping up with the reading - just not with the posting of the reading.

This Weekend...

This weekend, my husband and I shot a wedding. It was his first. He did pretty well. I haven't really gotten to his shots yet, but here is a handful that I took and like.

I've been told that all brides are beautiful.... but seriously, Rachael was absolutely stunning. I loved watching the two of them interact. The way they look at eachother is priceles...

Rachael has two beautiful daughters. The shot came out... a little bit underexposed. So I had to do some editing and softening to get rid of the pixelated look. I'm not sure what else to do... I just know it feels incomplete some how.

Lastly... I like this shot. This little girl goes to our church. She's a beautiful little girl... with a lot of spunk. Just a few seconds after I snapped this, she started chasing another kid with that bat.

This wedding was very special to me. I've been praying for this woman for a long time. Praying that she'd keep her fervency for God. That she'd never forget who she is in Him, or what He's done for her. That she would meet that special man who would treat her, and her children, with respect and a gentle, patient love. And would be as on fire for God as she is.

This weekend, I got a special treat. I got to watch the answer to that prayer play out in front of me. I know that I am not the only one who prayed. My prayer now is different. It's thanksgiving for this man and woman. It's a request for ever-increasing grace and mercy. For a peaceful home. For an uncommon ease in uniting. And it's for the kids - that they would easily and quickly get used to having Jonny around.

Congratulations, both of you!

Psalm 5

(vs.1) Lord, listen to my words. Understand my sadness.

David doesn't leave anything up to chance here. There's no guessing how he feels - he comes out and says it straight up. He's feeling sad. This caught my attention - directness is something I not only prefer, but in many situations, need.

(vs.2, 3) Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, because I pray to you. Lord, every morning you hear my voice. Every morning, I tell you what I need, and I wait for your answer.

These next two verses show me how David dealt with his sadness. I notice he didn't hide it. He didn't pretend it didn't exist. He didn't whisper for help - he cried for it. He expresses no remorse for his sadness. Merely a statement that it is, and that he has given it to God.

(vs. 4-8) You are not a God who is pleased with the wicked; you do not live with those who do evil. Those people who make fun of you cannot stand before you. You hate all those who do evil. You destroy liars; the Lord hates those who kill and trick others. Because of your great love, I can come into your Temple. Because I fear and respect you, I can worship in your holy Temple. Lord, since I have many enemies, show me the right thing to do. Show me clearly how you want me to live.

The one thing I relate to here, is David's request for God to show him the right thing to do about his enemies. I've prayed this same prayer, earnestly. Lord, show me what to do. Show me how to let your love move through me, show me how to live. Teach me how to behave toward them.

(vs. 9,10) My enemies' mouths do not tell the truth; in their hearts they want to destroy others. Their throats are like open graves; they use their tongues for telling lies. God, declare them guilty! Let them fall into their own traps. Send them away because their sins are many; they have turned against you.

Okay. I really get this. David is sad. And what's on his mind? The decietful nature of his enemies. There is little that people can do that hurts me more than when they lie to me. Or in front of me. God tells us to love truth. And I do. And I hate lies. The absolute worst lies of all? The ones that hurt me deeper than any others? The ones that escape my own mouth.

(vs. 11,12) But let everyone who trusts you be happy; let them sing glad songs forever. Protect those who love you and who are happy because of you. Lord, you bless those who do what is right; you protect them like a soldier's shield.

I trust God. And I sing glad songs to Him. I try to do what's right. And when I really consider what this means? What an awesome reason to be happy. So awesome, that in the midst of all the storms life can throw at me, I still have something to be happy about. What about you?

I've got a post about that very thing rolling around in my head, actually. I will be working on it in the coming weeks. Meanwhile... you could comment here and let me know how you keep your focus on the one thing we really have to be happy about. And not just happy... joyful even. What have you done so that you don't "lose your joy" in the middle of life's trials? If you wouldn't object, I will take the comments I receive and make a whole other post about them.

Say What?! Wednesday

So, I was thinking today, about the things that we sometimes say that just come out so... wrong. Not the serious things. But the funny ones. And I decided I'm gonna maybe try hosting my very own blog festival thingy... for me and all SIX of my regular readers. Yes, I know who you are. Okay. Not really. At least, not most of you.

Anyway. I have six regular readers who CONFESS their readership. For the rest of you - this is your chance to step out and participate.

In a manner similar to MckMama, I am going to begin hosting Say What?! Wednesday. The point? Well, you know those times when, with perfectly good intentions, we say exactly what we mean... only it doesn't quite come out right? Or someone else says something to you, and all you can do in response is laugh, or scratch your head in confusion? This is your chance to share those silly things, and get a good laugh. Of course, I am stepping out and taking a risk that nobody will post... in which case, I will sheepishly move this back to some previous, long-forgotten date, and try again next week. So either grab a button (on the sidebar) for your own blog, or add your own Say What?! to the comments on this post.

Anyway... here are my Say What?! moments.

The first, I confess, is sort of old. I may have even mentioned it here. But I'm saying it again. I received an e-mail requesting my assistance with a baby bird. In which the sender, who did genuinely want to help this little bird. But I'm thinking that his or her true intentions didn't quite come through...

"I've put it in a flower pot, with grass. On the trampoline."

Okay... where does one even start with that?

The second is also something someone else said. I'm not sure what, exactly, it was that they said. Because it was in a different language. Where I work, we take incoming customer service calls from business customers. We speak to a lot of people from all walks of life, and it's a lot of fun. Often times, to resolve the issue that we get called about, we need to call customer's back.

Yesterday, I had the joy of speaking to the King of Zamunda. Okay. Not really. But if you've ever seen "Coming To America" you'll know who I mean when I refer to the King of Zamunda. I talked to a guy who sounded EXACTLY like that. I held in my laughter during the entire call. But when I called him back to let him know I'd been able to fix the problem with his account, I actually had to hang up on the voicemail message because I could not quit laughing.

Seriously. I don't know what language he speaks. I just know I didn't understand a single word. Except the last word. Which probably means something serious in his language, but sounded exactly, completely, and 100% like he said "Hubba HUBBA." As in the sound that people on older television shows say when they see someone attractive. He ended his voicemail message with this. In his King of Zamunda voice. Yeah. It doesn't seem nearly so funny when I type it out.

Lastly, tonight, I went for a nice walk with my husband. I smiled at him and said "I've prayed before all of my weddings." It took a second to realize what I'd just said. What I meant was that when I photograph a wedding, I always pray first. But that's not what I said.

Psalm 4

Today, I was caught when I read verse seven of Psalm 4. But the joy that you have given me... joy. It's not so much an emotion... but in some ways, it is. It's that calm, unshakable assurance. It's not based on how it feels... but it does feel good. So... I kept going, with that joy in the back of my mind (or in the front... or where ever thoughts go when they're almost the focus of your attention). When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace.

Can I be real for just a minute? Not that I make a habit of being fake when I write here, but I don't always let you (readers) see my struggles. Sleep is the one activity in life I struggle most with. I've seen doctors, talked to helpful, well meaning people. Taken medication, tried all manner of natural "sleep aids" and "sleep enhancers." Developed a bedtime routine. Learned to keep my mind carefully in check. And the truth? Tonight, when I do fall asleep, it will be with the assistance of the two little pills I just swallowed. I don't like that. I would prefer not to admit that I need that help. But, it's true whether I admit it or not.

And if I were to lie down, with no medication, and I were to sleep all night? Well, I would definitely relate to the joy that David is talking about here. There have been brief seasons in my life where sleep has come easily. Read these two verses with me.

Psalm 4:7,8
But the joy that you have given me is more than they will ever have with all their grain and wine. When I lie down, I go to sleep in peace; you alone, O LORD, keep me perfectly safe.

He keeps me safe. Perfectly safe. Not mostly safe. Not almost safe. But perfectly safe. Because of Him, the Almighty King, I can do what Psalm 4:9 says.

Psalm 4:8, CEV:
I can lie down and sleep soundly because you, LORD, will keep me safe.

Tonight, this is what I'm saying. I may not actually believe it the way I should. My faith may be shakey, and I may be fighting thoughts of "yeah, but..." I may have just swallowed two little pills, and it may be that I feel guilty for even needing that. But I'm growing. God loves me too much to leave me the same. And so, I will say tonight...

I can lie down and sleep soundly, because my GOD will keep me safe.

Psalm 1

I've been given an "assignment" of sorts... for the next two months, I will spend time each day in the Psalms. I'm focusing on the relationship David has there, with his God. And learning from it. Praying. Trusting the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the character and nature of God, and to help me as I relate to Him. I'm going to try to post each day as I go.

I'm starting with Psalm 1, the whole thing.

Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God. Instead, they find joy in obeying the Law of the LORD, and they study it day and night.

They are like trees that grow beside a stream, that bear fruit at the right time, and whose leaves do not dry up. They succeed in everything they do. But evil people are not like this at all; they are like straw that the wind blows away. Sinners will be condemned by God and kept apart from God's own people. The righteous are guided and protected by the LORD, but the evil are on the way to their doom.

To be honest, I often times struggle with emotions - how to feel about things, and how to act in light of those feeligns. For lots of reasons, one of which is my distinctly Norwegian heritage. Here, it says that the people who reject the advice of evil people (I do), and if I do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God, I will be happy. At least, that's how I read it. I do find joy in obeying the Law of the Lord. I don't study His word as I should, but I am trying. And the more I do, the more complete I am. And this, really, is something to be happy about.

Do You Ever Wonder?

Have you ever met someone?

What I mean is, have you ever gone out looking for people?

I mean.

Well.

I mean, have you ever...

Okay. I'm going to stop asking questions designed to help you relate to me, and just say what I'm thinking.

Several years ago - five or six, maybe even seven - I went out to a park with my church's evangelism team. It was the first time I'd ever "witnessed" on purpose, and I was petrified. I prayed that God would show me someone easy. A man and woman sitting in lawn chairs caught my eye. I felt compelled. I walked up, started a conversation. Asked about their lives. Had a great time getting to know them just a little. Then I remembered why I'd started the conversation in the first place. Asked about their relationship with Christ. They asked if I was from (insert the name of my church here). I smiled sheepishly and said yes. They said they figured, since they'd seen it in the announcements. Turns out that they pastor another local church and come to ours when they don't have a service at the same time. What an easy way to start off!

Next was a young lady. She was sitting down by the river, watching the water go by. Something about her just... caught my attention. Arrested and held it firmly, rather. She was so... peaceful. Thoughtful. Seemed like she was searching for something.

Started talking. Found out she'd just moved to our town. Had a husband. Two daughters. Sweet, sweet woman. Loved her God, loved her Jesus. Hadn't found a church home yet, but they were searching. Maybe that's what God wanted me to talk to her about? She and her husband, and her daughters came to our church a few times. I still don't know what God did with that encounter... turned out their church home was not to be the same as mine. They settled in somewhere else. And I've thought of and prayed for them fairly often ever since.

That's a lot of years to pray for someone when you don't actually know them. Or where they are. Or what they're doing.

I found out recently, though, that God's been doing awesome things in their lives. They now have five kids. Are on fire for their King. Established in their church. And I know it! What a blessing to find this out through a long, twisty, crazy way. Involving a total stranger, pictures of kids I've never met playing on a beach hours away from here, a sick baby, a blog I read frequently, and a friend who needs a wedding photographer.

Just a reminder that God... He is God everywhere. All the time. And when we pray - even if we don't know what to pray - He hears.

I Am With You

This promise, this unchangeable, unshakable truth, is so precious to me. He is with me. With me. Wherever I go. Whatever I do. He is with me. Nothing can hide me from Him. From His love. From His mercy. His goodness. His correction. He is with me.

Matthew 28:20 - Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

This promise, this unchangeable, unshakable truth, bothers me. He is with me. With me. Wherever I go. Whatever I do. He is with me. I can't hide from him. Nothing I do escapes him. There are plenty of things I've done that I wish he hadn't seen. Things I've confessed, sure. Things He's forgiven. Things He loves me in spite of. And yet... He is with me?

It is one of those things that will stop me in my tracks. It will freeze the words that are about to come flying out of my mouth. It will arrest my attention. It causes me to hesitate before doing things that may not be the most... wholesome. It, in essence, enhances my conscience.

But it also gives me courage when inside, I am imagining every bad outcome. It gives me strength when I am falling apart and know I can't keep going. It gives me hope when there doesn't seem to be any answer.

Lo, I am with you always.

A great, glorious promise.

I Made It For You.

This morning, I was still up when the sun started to rise (if you follow me on twitter, you'll know that my heart did its thing a bit last night and I ended up having to take something for it). Anyway... the sunrise looked like it promised to be a good one. I slipped outside in my jammies, and walked across the neighbor's field to stand at the edge of the valley. It was quiet. Peaceful. Birds were singing. The flowers blooming at the edge of the field were filling the air and my head with their fragrence. As I stood there, the sky seemed to catch fire. It started slowly - just the clouds on the eastern horizon. But it spread, rapidly, until the entire sky was red, quickly moving clouds. It was amazing.

As I walked back toward our house, I prayed. Thank you, Lord, for the beauty around me. You created such a beautiful world. And then, a still, small voice - softer than the dew on the grass, and mighter than the biggest storm - spoke to my heart. "I made this for you."

He did. He made this world for us. For us to live in, to dwell in. It's a mere shadow of what it was made to be. And even so, if we'll allow Him, God will never cease to amaze us with His creation. Take a minute today to look around you and notice what He's done. The amazing, beautiful things He has done.

Calm In the Storm

Tonight, my husband and I stood outside our home. In the field that meets up with our driveway. And got these two pictures. All around, I could hear thunder... I could almost feel it. And lightning was flashing all around. And yet... it was calm. Peaceful.

I admit, there is something about a storm that is just downright attractive to me. I crave standing in the midst of them. With power all around me. Rain pouring down. Arms stretched out. And in the midst of those storms, God is so near. And that's why I crave them. I crave that closeness. That nearness. That reminder of how awesome He is - there is no storm on earth that could compare to His power, His might. And still... He loves me. What a privilege.

Tonight, there is someone dear to me, whom I have never met, who is walking through a storm. Right now, it's raging so loudly around her and her sweet son that Idon't know how she's able to hear anything else. And yet... I know she is able to. She loves her God, and trusts Him. And I do too. Will you pray with me? Pray that her son's life would be preserved. That his heart would be calmed. That the doctors would have wisdom to know what to do next. And pray for his parents. That they would remain aware of His presence. That they would not be overwhelmed by fear or trepidation.

Please pray... you can get updates here.

When I Say I Am A Christian.

I was browsing through some random pages today, and I came across two poems entitled "When I Say I Am A Christian." I'm going to include them here... because I like them. A lot. And I wish I would have thought to write them myself.

When I Say I Am a Christian
Carol Wimmer - (C) 1988

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost"
That is why I chose this way

When I say "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need someone to be my guide

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting I have failed
And cannot ever pay the debt

When I say "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are too visible
But God believes I'm worth it

When I say "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
Which is why I seek His name

When I say "I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority
I only know I'm loved


I'm A Christian
Maya Angelou

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'!"
I'm whispering "I was lost..."
"Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need Christ to be my guide.

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect.
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say "I'm a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou...
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

The Winds of Change.

Updated. Again:
So, lots of changes here. One of which involves removing the music that used to play. I did it to make things load more smoothly. You can vote to keep it gone or to bring it back (poll is located on the lefthand side of the blog). Because really - the music is for you, the reader. Let me know - you've got a week!

On another note - I plan to take a slightly different direction in coming months - one that is more reader focused. When I originally started this blog, it was about me. And me only. I had no intention of ever sharing it with anybody other than my writing teacher who had requested that all of us in the class do so. Then, my grandma was killed and it became an outlet as I worked through grief unlike anything I'd known. Then it moved on to being just random snippets.

Now, I'd like it to transform again. I want to address things that you, the readers, want to know about. I'm not a teacher, preacher, or anything else. Just a woman. Who loves her God. And longs to bring Him glory through the words I write. SO... if there is an issue you'd like to see addressed, something you'd like to say, or you'd like to request prayer, leave me a comment or send me an e-mail (use the link on the right) - I'll get back to you as soon as I can. :)

Updated:
Okay. I'm not done. But I am done - it is way too late for me to be up. I'm fighting with how to make my widgets have their own border and color. I figured it out before, but now something is amok. Oh well... that's for later. :)

Original:
I'm about to make some major changes to the layout of this blog... I apologize in advance for the fact that it's going to look pretty shabby for a few hours - but I promise that it will look good when I'm done. :)

Yesterday.

Yesterday, I was up with the sun. It was so beautiful, that I had to wake up my husband to show him. This is what we see in the mornings, from our bed. We are so blesssed!

Moving on - yesterday was mostly unproductive. I did accomplish one thing, though. You see, we have two salamanders. We got them when we were helping some people move - they were hanging out by their basement door. When we got them, they were about four inches long and very unhealthy in appearance - gray, skinny, dry, wrinkly... just generally "unfit."

They live in an aquarium. Which, after we moved, they totally trashed. Dug up the plants, put dirt in the water, generally mucked it up. So yesterday, I spent about five hours redoing it. I'm pleased with how it turned out. I think they are too.

I did make them a couple hide-outs - one for in the water and one for out of the water. But they aren't in the pictures (obviously).

I guess it's just a week for redoing things, eh?