Ice

Ice.  That's all I can think of when I go outside.  There are many inches of ice built up around our porch and in our driveway.  The roads are now skating rinks.  It's dangerous.

But it's also beautiful.  Everything sparkles in the sun, and each tree branch is perfectly coated.

Also, that post I made about Asian Beetles biting me?  I was wrong.  Turns out, I'm just randomly sprouting hives.  They restrict themselves to the skin on my joints and scars.  They flare and I'll have 20-30 of them for half a day or so, and then they fade away and I'll have just a handful.  Then they flare again.  They are intensely itchy, and also cause a lot of tenderness in the tissue beneath them.  Not a clue what's going on, but there are no systemic symptoms so I'm not overly worried.

Under Attack

So at some point in the early hours of this morning, I was attacked.  By an Asian Beetle (like lady bugs, only slightly different).  I got bitten six times.  I woke up with six swollen red lumps, that were intensely itchy.  Throughout the day they've faded and gotten less itchy.  It took me until this evening to figure out what they were.  And what clued me in?  You got it - an Asian beetle landed on my other arm and bit it. 

In case you were wondering, this is what they look like.

You're welcome.  Now you can be creeped out with me.

Darling Annaliah

My precious child,

It is hard knowing that if you'd been born on your due date, you would be turning ten today.  We'd celebrate with your dad and I, and your Pops and Memaw and your Grampa and Yaya.  You'd be reminded yet again that you are loved and cherished.

But that is not to be.  Annaliah, I feel your loss so acutely this year.  It's as though the brightness from the sun has disappeared behind a fog of grief.  Precious one, we lost you and less than a year later, my beloved Gramma was killed.  It's not fair.  Life is not fair.

I don't need fair.  I have faith.  My God has chosen me, has spared me, loves me, provides for me.  Even when unfair things happen, He is there.

But I want fair.

Annaliah, as your mother, my greatest desire is for you to be safe and happy, and most of all to walk with God.  You are all those things now, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Happy birthday baby girl.  You are loved and you are missed.

Live In The Light

1 John 1:5-10

Here is the message we have heard from Christ and now announce to you: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all.  So if we say we have fellowship with God, but we continue living in darkness, we are liars and do not follow the truth.  But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other.  Then the blood of Jesus, God's Son, cleanses us from  every sin.

If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right.  He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done.  If we say we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and we do not accept God's teaching.

(c) Holy Bible, New Century Version, 2005


The word "light" here is used as a symbol of God's goodness or truth.  Darkness would be the opposite - i.e. Satan's evilness and lies.  Living in the light allows us to fellowship with God Himself.  To me, this is mind-blowing.  There is something I can do that puts me in fellowship with the One who created everything.  He is so far beyond anything I can comprehend, and yet He says he'll fellowship with me. 

I encourage you - live in the light.  He gives us grace to do so - you don't have to do it in your own strength.  Trust Him, pray to Him, live according to His word.  It's worth it.

May All Who Come Behind Us Find Us Faithful

When I was a kid, my grandma was in the church choir.  One year, one of the songs they did really stuck with me.  Especially the chorus.  The song is Find Us Faithful, by Steve Green.  The chorus has the following lyrics:

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey

It is important to me, that when others look at me, they see Him.  I want to reflect His love and live His grace and walk His way.  I fail, often, but I get back up every time.  I have to.  He has done so much for me, and loves me so flawlessly, that I want to do nothing short of my very best.

Life More Abundantly

John 10:10 says, "I have come that they might have life, and life more abundantly."  I have to say, for almost five years, that verse seemed so far away from my reality.  We were struggling financially, struggling with our health, struggling to maintain a marriage when we barely had any time together.  In the middle of it, it all seemed insurmountable.  But now, looking back, I can see so many places where God was working... working on Derek, working on me, working on us.  We have not arrived yet, but we are beginning to see manifestation of God's plan for us.  It is an exciting, beautiful time.  I want to make note of that here, so that in the future, I can look back and say "Yes, I saw the beginnings of this way back then."

New Puppy

My parents have a new puppy.  His name is Hank, and I happen to think he's the cutest thing ever.  He's a mix of Australian Shepherd and Welsh Corgi.  He likes to chew on his pull rope and dig holes in the woods.

I want a puppy.  I have wanted a puppy for the last 16 years.  But I won't be getting one any time soon.  My life style isn't conducive to providing for a puppy.  Someday, I'll get one.  It will be my husband's first time.  I look forward to watching that relationship grow.

In other news, Day Light Savings Time has ended, and it's getting dark way too early now.  I admit, there are times I'm tempted to move south just to get more sunlight.  But we're firmly rooted here.  There's too much we don't want to leave.